funny quotes to keep you laughing

Funny Quotes to Keep You Laughing - Top 100 Quotes

Quotes are a great way to keep you laughing during the day. They can be used as a pick-me-up when you’re feeling down, or just for some good old laughter. We all need a little humor in our lives. And what better way to get it than from some hilarious quotes that can make you laugh out loud? In this article, you will find top 100 funny quotes to keep you laughing.

This article is a list of our favorite quotes. The quotes are in no particular order and we hope that you enjoy them! This list of funny quotes is sure to put a smile on your face and keep you laughing for hours.

Top 100 Funny Quotes to Keep You Laughing

1: People say no longer something is impossible, however, I do not do anything every day.

2: The distinction between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.

3: The war is God’s way of coaching people’s geography.

4: I don’t trust in astrology; I’m an Aries and we’re skeptical.

5: An afternoon without laughter is an afternoon wasted.

6: In no manner visit a clinical physician whose workplace vegetation has died.

7: Marriage is the best struggle in which you sleep with the enemy.

8: Whoever stated money can’t buy happiness didn’t understand which to save.

9: At the same time as a man opens an automobile door for his spouse, it’s either a brand new vehicle or an ultra-modern partner.

10: The commonplace dog is a nicer man or woman than the common individual.

11: As an infant, my family’s menu consisted of selections: take it or leave it.

12: In case you anticipate you’ve got it tough, look at records books.

13: The only toilet law I’m interested in bans loud sighing.

14: I usually desired to be any person, however now I comprehend I ought to be greater precise.

15: If someone else is procuring it, meals truly taste masses higher.

16: In case you want to look thin: grasp out with fats human beings.

17: You couldn’t repair silly.

18: Love conquers all matters besides poverty and toothache.

19: The two most commonplace factors inside the universe are hydrogen and stupidity.

20: Inside the return of every successful guy is a surprised mom-in-law.

21: In case you find out it difficult to giggle at yourself, I am probably glad to do it for you.

22: Forgive your enemies, but in no way forget about their names.

23: It’s constantly humorous till a person gets hurt. Then it’s hilarious.

24: Excessive heels have invented the usage of a female who turned into kissed on the forehead.

25: A black cat crossing your course tells that the animal is going someplace.

26: The study of economics is usually famous is that the best time to shop for something is the end of the year.

27: To be antique and smart, you need to first be young and stupid.

28: Some days you eat salad and exercise session. Somedays you have got cupcakes and pizza. It’s known as a balance.

29: Amongst ‘pass big or skip domestic’, I pick the latter.

30: If someone behaves badly with you then learn to slap them.

31: Don’t allow your extraordinary pals to get lonely, maintain traumatic them.

32: Once in a while I want I was an octopus, so I ought to slap 8 human beings straight away.

33: If Cinderella’s shoe suit perfectly, then why did it fall off?

34: If you’re warmer than me, then it means I’m cooler than you.

35: My pocket is like an onion, starting it makes me cry.

36: My goal this weekend is to transport, simply sufficient so humans don’t anticipate I’m useless.

37: Lazy humans’ fact, you have been too lazy to study that range.

38: Friends purchase your food. Exceptional pals eat your food.

39: Paper cut: A tree’s final second of revenge.

40: Common enjoy is like deodorant, individuals who need it the most never use it.

41: I don’t want a hairstylist, my pillow offers me a brand new hairstyle every morning.

42: Existence continuously offers you a 2nd chance. It’s called the day after today.

43: My six percent is covered using a layer of fats.

44: While no longer something is going right, cross left.

45: When you have loopy friends you have got were given the whole lot you’ll ever need.

46: Silence is golden, except you’ve got kids, then silence is simply easy suspicious.

47: I’m now not strolling far away from difficult work, I’m too lazy to run.

48: Don’t make me snort, I’m seeking to be mad at you.

49: Perhaps if we tell human beings the brain is an app, they’ll start the use of it.

50: Seeing a spider in my room isn’t frightening. It’s frightening even as it disappears.

51: They are saying ‘don’t try this at home so I’m coming over to your property to strive for it.

52: I didn’t fall, I’m just spending a little time on the floor.

53: The satisfactory energy you’ve got is the phrase ‘no’

54: Each day is a present, that’s why they call it the prevailing.

55: I believe we must all pay our tax invoices with a grin. I attempted, however, they desired cash.

56: Why can’t you play gambling cards on a small boat? due to the truth, someone is constantly sitting on the deck.

57: Of course, I communicate to myself, once in a while I want professional advice.

58: Generally, have a look at your heart, but do not forget to wear your thoughts along.

59: I’m not arguing, I’m simply telling you why you’re wrong.

60: Be yourself; everybody else is already taken.

61: I continually have a knife in my purse, simply in case we’re having cake.

62: If Monday had a face, I might punch it.

63: A balanced diet means a cupcake in each hand.

64: All of us have luggage, find a person who loves us enough that will help us unpack.

65: whilst life closes a door, simply open it once more. It’s a door, that’s how they paint.

66: I don’t recognize the way to act my age because I’ve never been this old before.

67: A thought is sort of a parachute. It doesn’t paintings if it isn’t open.

68: Relax, it’s the weekend, simply don’t blink or it is going to be all over.

69: The handiest courting I have is with my Wifi. we’ve got a connection.

70: All the life I notion air became unfastened, till I bought a bag of chips.

71: The incredible pride in existence is doing what human beings say you can’t do.

72: Doing nothing is tough, you by no means realize when you’re accomplished.

73: We are going to be first-class pals forever, besides you understand too much.

74: Sorry, I didn’t pick out my smartphone, I got over-excited dancing to the ringtone.

75: You recognize you’re lazy when you get excited about canceling your plans.

76: Don’t surrender to your goals so quickly, sleep longer.

77: I’m now not lazy, I’m just very relaxed.

78: Never ask a starfish for directions.

79: Why is Monday thus far from Friday, and Friday so near Monday?

80: By no means judge an ebook by its movie.

81: I may not realize karate, but I realize loopy and that I’m not afraid to use it.

82: I don’t like morning humans, or mornings, or people.

83: I’m sorry that I’m now not updating my Facebook story, my cat ate my mouse.

84: You could best be younger as soon as. however, you can always be immature.

85: I understand that I’m stupid however when I go searching I sense a lot better.

86: Is there life without FB and net? certainly? ship me the link.

87: All you want is love. however, a bit of chocolate now after which doesn’t harm.

88: Love your enemies. It makes them so damned mad.

89: Don’t drink to neglect me, you’ll grow to be seeing me double.

90: It’s now not vital to winning, it’s vital to make the alternative man lose.

91: I’m too lazy to be lazy.

92: Perhaps there are not any excuses to be lazy, but I’m nevertheless going to maintain looking.

93: Existence doesn’t have any arms, but it can certainly come up with a slap occasionally.

94: There are not any stupid questions, simply silly humans.

95: I have a new coiffure today, it’s called ‘I tried.’

96: You may have everything, wherein would you position it.

97: I didn’t suggest pushing all your buttons, I used to be simply seeking out the mute button.

98: I’m multitasking: I will listen, forget about and forget at equal time.

99: Smile today, the day after today may be worse.

100: Take bad attitude people like shit. Let them go into hell.

The Bottom Line

A good laugh is a great way to keep your mood up. And there are so many funny quotes out there that can help you with that! We can say that a good laugh is one of the best ways to keep your spirits up. And the quotes in this article are great for just that!

In this article, we have discussed various funny quotes to keep you laughing and entertained. We hope you enjoy reading these quotes and use them to brighten up your day.

Nat Huang

Nat Huang

Founder of Keeswan.com. I love to write about striving forward and pursuing excellence, believing that hard work and pragmatism is the way to taste the manna of happiness and the fragrance of success in life.

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