Funny Quotes to Keep You Laughing - Top 100 Quotes

1: People say no longer something is impossible, however, I do not do anything every day.

2: The distinction between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.

3: The war is God’s way of coaching people’s geography.

4: I don’t trust in astrology; I’m an Aries and we’re skeptical.

5: An afternoon without laughter is an afternoon wasted.

6: In no manner visit a clinical physician whose workplace vegetation has died.

7: Marriage is the best struggle in which you sleep with the enemy.

8: Whoever stated money can’t buy happiness didn’t understand which to save.

9: At the same time as a man opens an automobile door for his spouse, it’s either a brand new vehicle or an ultra-modern partner.

10: The commonplace dog is a nicer man or woman than the common individual.

11: As an infant, my family’s menu consisted of selections: take it or leave it.

12: In case you anticipate you’ve got it tough, look at records books.

13: The only toilet law I’m interested in bans loud sighing.

14: I usually desired to be any person, however now I comprehend I ought to be greater precise.

15: If someone else is procuring it, meals truly taste masses higher.

16: In case you want to look thin: grasp out with fats human beings.

17: You couldn’t repair silly.

18: Love conquers all matters besides poverty and toothache.

19: The two most commonplace factors inside the universe are hydrogen and stupidity.

20: Inside the return of every successful guy is a surprised mom-in-law.

21: In case you find out it difficult to giggle at yourself, I am probably glad to do it for you.

22: Forgive your enemies, but in no way forget about their names.

23: It’s constantly humorous till a person gets hurt. Then it’s hilarious.

24: Excessive heels have invented the usage of a female who turned into kissed on the forehead.

25: A black cat crossing your course tells that the animal is going someplace.

26: The study of economics is usually famous is that the best time to shop for something is the end of the year.

27: To be antique and smart, you need to first be young and stupid.

28: Some days you eat salad and exercise session. Somedays you have got cupcakes and pizza. It’s known as a balance.

29: Amongst ‘pass big or skip domestic’, I pick the latter.

30: If someone behaves badly with you then learn to slap them.

31: Don’t allow your extraordinary pals to get lonely, maintain traumatic them.

32: Once in a while I want I was an octopus, so I ought to slap 8 human beings straight away.

33: If Cinderella’s shoe suit perfectly, then why did it fall off?

34: If you’re warmer than me, then it means I’m cooler than you.

35: My pocket is like an onion, starting it makes me cry.

36: My goal this weekend is to transport, simply sufficient so humans don’t anticipate I’m useless.

37: Lazy humans’ fact, you have been too lazy to study that range.

38: Friends purchase your food. Exceptional pals eat your food.

39: Paper cut: A tree’s final second of revenge.

40: Common enjoy is like deodorant, individuals who need it the most never use it.

41: I don’t want a hairstylist, my pillow offers me a brand new hairstyle every morning.

42: Existence continuously offers you a 2nd chance. It’s called the day after today.

43: My six percent is covered using a layer of fats.

44: While no longer something is going right, cross left.

45: When you have loopy friends you have got were given the whole lot you’ll ever need.

46: Silence is golden, except you’ve got kids, then silence is simply easy suspicious.

47: I’m now not strolling far away from difficult work, I’m too lazy to run.

48: Don’t make me snort, I’m seeking to be mad at you.

49: Perhaps if we tell human beings the brain is an app, they’ll start the use of it.

50: Seeing a spider in my room isn’t frightening. It’s frightening even as it disappears.